So...do you even date yourself?
This may be a little strange, but can I ask you something?...Do you spend quality time with
yourself? Like, do you take yourself out on dates and treat yourself?
Yes? No? I'm not sure?
Well, if you are reading this then please take this as a sign from the universe to take yourself out on a date. Spend some quality time with yourself...you deserve it. Remember, the love you show yourself is the love that you will set as the standard for others.
Side note: Stop caring what others think! Who cares if you are out enjoying life by yourself - there is no law that life must be enjoyed in the company of others. Be comfortable enjoying your amazing self by yourself.
You may be thinking "It's easier said than done", right?
Actually, yes. In my opinion, you are right - it is easier said than done. It is not always easy to choose to be by ourselves or to love ourselves with no distractions around us. Like come on, when was the last time you unpacked some of the things you have experienced? When have you given y
ourself space, time, and care to truly unpack some of those pieces of you that you keep well hidden in the darkest corners of your being? When was the last time you sat down and got to know yourself - like truly?
This shit is not easy.
This is a journey...but the upside to this is that this is YOUR journey and you get to decide at what pace you want to move at.
Just like anything else, fostering a healthy relationship with ourselves takes time, effort, and commitment. You can't just become the best soccer player knowing absolutely nothing about the sport, right? You have to practice, allow yourself space and time to learn, and commit yourself to the journey. So here I am, hopefully nudging you to take some time and space to commit to your own journey.
But, how or where do I start?
There are many places to start. I believe a good start is to acknowledge that it is okay to hold space for yourself and your experiences...acknowledge that you are not your experiences...acknowledge that it is okay not to be perfect. I believe by acknowledging we open up space for ourselves to allow our stories and experiences to flow from the dark corners we try so hard to keep them trapped in. In short...release all expectations of yourself, take a deep breath, and allow yourself to exist without judgement.
Hmm...so now you may be asking, "How do I release all expectations of myself?"
That's a good question! Like my response to many things, let's take a moment to journal about it. Yes! Please take our a p
aper and pen, an electronic device, or anything you have on hand and let's dive in!
Let me first ask you:
What expectations do you hold for yourself? Why do you hold these expectations for yourself? Where do these expectations come from? Do you believe this is the way your life should be?
What would your life look like if you didn't have any of these expectations? How would your life feel? How would you feel?
Read these thoughts back to yourself...allow yourself to read and hold space for your thoughts.
Now take a three deep breaths...breath in through your
nose for four seconds, hold for one, and breath out through your mouth for four seconds. On the last exhale allow those expectations to flow out of you...set those expectations free.
How did that feel?
Creating space for ourselves may not always feel comfortable at first, but the more we practice and commit to ourselves the easier it gets...I promise. I have been on this journey for over two years and I still feel awkward taking myself out on dates, but I stopped letting that hold me back from creating adventures with myself for myself <3
Make yourself the priority and remember you get to live this life as YOU. So take hold of it and
spend some time getting to know yourself.
With gratitude and sunlight,
Sandra